Flying above the clouds was a wonderful experience for me, as I love watching them from below and always wanted to get closer. I was so amazed by seeing them so close that I felt like jumping off and floating among them, and I hardly held my tears of excitement and awe. Then I decided that if I ever gonna marry someone, that would be clouds.
I took these shots on 4th April 2013, during a flight from Islamabad, Pakistan to Doha, Qatar.
With the help of some Aluminum foil and a flash-light, here’s the shadow sculpture I made.
Those related to Pakistan can identify this silhouette. It is the famous Faisal Mosque in Islamabad.
Tell me a lie
and say
Everything you ever told me
is true
— Knonie
[Note: Since the earlier version was "boring" for me, apart from being so indirect, (can be seen here), I've done this revised version.]
They are making a fool out of me.
They can sense my strength, they can feel my uniqueness, and that is what keeps them restless.
They take me as an alien or a rebel, so they disapprove me altogether. Some are kind, so they tend to make me feel understood. They hardly change their own principles, but make me change mine. They wanted to change my glasses so that I could see the world the way they want.
They make me suffer for the unseen things. They live their life in a way that gives me a constant sense of guilt. Yes, I am responsible for their hurt and tears, this is what they want me to think. They keep on giving me some small amounts of sympathies to make me feel protected, and pleasures to keep me curious, but they spend the greater time in making me feel sad and tired… Or precisely “Tied”.
They make me live under certain patterns, and make me believe that it is the only way. They put conditions that take my freedom. They bound me to the promises of a better tomorrow for which I will be held responsible. They do anything to make me suffer during the time when my life has the greatest amount of passion and zeal. They distract me from all the places till I start feeling that my passions are worthless. They take the worth out of everything… every little thing that is a source of joy for me now.
They are making a fool out of me. Yes, all of them.
I won’t let anyone kill me.
— Knonie
Wednesday, the 13th March, 2013
“Aisi duniya mein jahan har larka kisi aur larki kay liye mujhay chhor sakta hai tou kia yahan aik bhi aisi larki nahi hai jo meray liye qurbani day sakay?”
“Koun larka? Koun larki? Kia duniya?”
“Yehi duniya jis mein hum nay inqalab lana hai.”
“Haan, tou duniya badli tou nahi hai?”
“Badli tou hai. Aur kia ab sab kuch he aik illusion hai?”
“Haha nahi. Ye duniya soch ki nahi, haqeeqat ki he hai. Insaan buhut badal gaya hai, kehnay ko, kiyoon k ab ilm buhut waseeh ho chuka hai aur insani zehen bhi, laikin jhagray wohi puranay hain. Bas kuch pesa kamanay ka dhang karo aur phir kuch bachay day kar chalay jao. Lo jee tumharay jesay aur aa gaye.”
“Haan ye tou insani zindagi kay baqa kay liye hai.”
“Jesay ye sab kuch tou aik aam shakhs insani zindagi ki baqa k liye karta hai. Pata hai jo iss baqa k naam pay ho raha hai…”
“Ab baat ko kaheen aur mutt lay kar jao…”
“Acha bakwas na karo. Meri baat suntay tou ho nahi wesay he poochtay ho bas. Pata nahi meri baton mein doobnay ka kia ishq hai tumhain. Jis din doobnay na doon, uss din mujhay bardasht bhi nahi kar saktay.”
“Ab ye baat kahan say nikali hai. Main ja raha hoon.”
“Dafa ho apnay ghar. Tumharay ghar walay pareshan ho rahay hon gay kay kaheen raat na ho jaaye.”
“Fuck you! Wo mera ghar nahi hai. Aur is haftay sham ko jaldi aaoon ga aur baton k liye poori raat bhi ho gi…”
“Oye hoye… Zindagi…”
“Acha bye!”
“Bye!”
Raining
Outside
Damp pillow.
—Knonie.
I’ve waited so long
To wake up and
To start my life
With love, trust, hope
And understanding
With happiness, joy
And everything good around
And believe me
I almost started it
Before realising it was just a dream
— Knonie, December 2012
They are making a fool out of you.
They can sense your strength, they can feel your uniqueness, and that is what keeps them restless.
No matter how busy they are, they have time for you, because you are still not like everyone else.
They take you as an alien or a rebel, so they disapprove you altogether. Some are kind, so they tend to make you feel understood. They will hardly change their own principles, but make you change yours. They will change your glasses so that you could see the world the way they want.
They will make you suffer for the unseen things. They will live their life in a way that will give you a constant sense of guilt. Yes, you are responsible for their hurt and tears, this is what they want you to think. They will keep on giving you some small amounts of sympathies to make you feel protected, and pleasures to keep you curious, but will spend the greater time to make you feel sad and tired… Or precisely “Tied”.
They will make you live under certain patterns, and make you believe that it is the only way. They will put conditions that take your freedom. They will bound you to the promises of a better tomorrow for which you will be held responsible. They will do anything to make you suffer during the time when your life has the greatest amount of passion and zeal. They will distract you from all the places till you feel your passions are worthless. They will take the worth out of everything… every little thing that was once a source of joy for you.
They are making a fool out of you. Yes, all of them.
Don’t let anyone kill you.
Be careful.
I am present
in the past
of everyone
I loved.
— Knonie.
Do you love me
Or hate seeing me
without you?
— Knonie.
مجھے خوشی ہوتی ہے جب مجھے بھیک ملتی ہے- اس بات کی خوشی کہ حسب توفیق کوئی اپنی ذاتی زندگی کا کچھ حصّہ ہمیشہ کے لئے مجھے دے رہا ہے- مجھے کسی چیز سے کوئی خاص سروکار نہیں ہوتا- میں ہاتھ نہیں پھیلاتا مگر شاید میری شکل سے ہی سب اندازہ لگا لیتے ہوں-
مجھے پڑھنے کا بہت شوق ہے- باقی سب کی طرح کبھی افسری اور نوکری کے خواب تو نہیں دیکھے اسی لئے کالج بھی چھوڑ دیا- بس خود ہی کچھ نہ کچھ سیکھتا رہتا ہوں- پارک کےتنہا کونے میں کچرے کے بڑے ڈ بے کے ساتھ اس ٹوٹے بینچ پرکوئی کتاب پکڑے بیٹھ کرکبھی سوچتا ہوں اور باقی وقت سوتا ہوں- یوں اکیلے ہوتے ہوئے بھی میری زندگی میں تنہائی کا تصّورنہیں ہے- شاید شروع سے ہی الگ تھلگ رہنے سے اپنے آپ کو کوئی سورج چاند جیسی چیز سمجھتا ہوں-
میں لوگوں کی طرف اتنا دیکھا ہی نہیں کرتا- وہ سب ایک ہی جیسے رنگ برنگ سے ہوتے ہیں- یہ نہیں معلوم کہ وہ کیا کیا سوچتے ہیں مگر ایسا ضرور لگتا ہے کہ وہ بہت کچھ جانتے ہیں- کبھی کبھی ایسا محسوس ہوتا ہے کہ جو بھی مجھ پر نگاہ ڈالتا ہے وہ میرا سب احوال جان لیتا ہے- بھیک دینے والوں کا چہرہ ضرور دیکھتا ہوں- یہی چند انسان ہوتے ہیں جو کچھ لمحے میری زندگی کا حصہ بنتے ہیں- اس سے زندگی میں کچھ ہلچل مچ جاتی اور یہ کائنات اور وسیع ہوتی جاتی ہے-
میرا ماضی، حال، اور مستقبل سب ایک ہی دن ہے- یہی آج کا دن جس میں میں جی رہا ہوں- میرے پاس ماضی کے کوئی کارنامے ہیں اور نہ ہی مستقبل کے کوئی خواب- میں تو خود وہ خواب ہوں جو اس وقت دیکھا جا رہا ہے- اسی خواب میں وہ چہرہ میرے پاس آیا، باقی سب پاس آنے والوں کی طرح- ناجانے کیوں میں نے اس کی آنکھوں کی چمک کو دیکھا اور اس میں مجھے اپنا عکس نظر آیا- زندگی میں پہلی بار یوں اپنے آپ کو دیکھا اور دیکھتا ہی رہ گیا ہوں- کیا مجھے اس عکس میں اپنا وجود مل گیا ہے؟
My Phobias… Hey, I don’t even know what this term actually means in Psychology…
As a human being, I too have many. The thing is that I realized many of them and controlled them a lot. That’s the most interesting part…
According to my rules, there are two solutions of overcoming your fears:
Insects:
Those legged creatures are too annoying, especially when they crawl on your body. I used to fear them a lot when I was a kid. But gradually, I have changed my habits (perception). And now I take these things so ordinary that still I like to catch insects, bugs in my hands. These include Ladybirds, Mantis, Grasshoppers, Crickets, Ants, butterflies and moths, spiders, bees, wasps… still looking for cockroaches.
Heights:
It’s not that strong fear, but still, I don’t feel comfortable being on the edges of high roofs and looking down. Maybe, it’s a fear of falling. So I don’t usually peep from the roofs.
Certain People:
I don’t feel comfortable sitting in the company of elder people, people having narrow [mental] vision and people wearing Army Uniforms or formal dresses.
Quarrels:
I don’t like being into places where people fight, especially physical beating. Similarly, I don’t like wars, neither watch news of this sort. I think that most of our cases can also be solved peacefully.
Accidents:
I always wish to stay away from any big accident or mishap, fire, drowning, road accident, etc.
Vehicles:
That phobia is somewhat still here. I hate vehicles. I always wish to have those old chariots days, or just bicycles around… but we can’t help it, these fast moving vehicles are a must. Still, I haven’t practiced driving and not intended to. I guess, I’ll do it somehow if I ever try.
Bus…
[Originally written on Aug 25, 2005]
When you saw me, without false robes
You offered your heart
When I held your hands
I touched your heart
You talked to me
but had a conversation with yourself
We met each other wearing mirrors
and fell in love with each other
(Knonie, 7 May, 2011)
[Click images to view larger version]
