Dec 24 2010

A little modern Christmas Joke…

Posted by Knonie

no-santa-wikileaks-knonie

Dear Kids,

There’s No Santa Clause. Those presents are from your parents.

Love,
WikiLeaks.


Dec 5 2010

Facebook Cartoons Display-Picture game is– Fake!

Posted by Knonie

On Thursday, 2nd December, 2010, I noticed a note as a Facebook status update of a friend from US, that goes like this:

LET’S KEEP THIS GOING! ♥ Change your FB profile picture to a cartoon from your childhood. The goal? To not see a human face on FB til Monday, December 6th. Join the fight against CHILD ABUSE. Copy & paste to your staus to invite your friends to do the same.

It appeared to me like a fun game someone has invented, and has tried to give it a touch of a Serious Cause, so that people will feel relieved after taking part in it…
And fortunately… it worked!!!

On next 3 days, that message started to increase gradually and rapidly, and as I usually notice, the Original statement seemed to be slightly altered. The most obvious amendment has the word “Child Abuse” changed into “Child Violence” because “Child Abuse” sounds quite an Adult word and some person thought about replacing it.

Here’s the screenshot of my account with non-cartoon faces blurred:

Continue reading


Nov 24 2010

Elmo Cookies- Too Cute you won’t even eat ’em…

Posted by Knonie

Recently a friend told me about one of their acquaintances lady based in Singapore, who makes really beautiful cookies. I asked my friend to ask for her permission to use the photos of her edible crafts with my friends through this blog. She happily agreed, so here is the first batch of the photos, featuring some cookies and cupcakes resembling the face of Elmo, the lovely muppet from Sesame Street.
Elmo Cookies

[Click the thumbnails to view larger image in a pop-up lightbox]


Oct 22 2010

Some funny computer one-liners…

Posted by Knonie

IT Professionals- Funny one liner

•   Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

•   Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…

•   Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…

•   “Intel Inside”: The world’s most commonly used warning label.

•   Printer not ready. Do you have a pen?

•   A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1…

•   Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

•   Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…

•   All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

•   A good programmer makes all the right mistakes.

•   Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred…?

•   If engineers built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.

•   A computer scientist is someone who, when told to ‘Go to Hell’, sees the ‘go to’, rather than the destination, as harmful.

•   FATAL ERROR! SYSTEM HALTED! – Press any key to do nothing…

•   There are two ways to write error-free programs.
Only the third one works.

•   A hacker does for love what others would not do for money.

•   A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

•   Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for ‘still doesn’t work.

•   Computer analyst to programmer: You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.

•   Computer Science: solving today’s problems tomorrow.

•   If your computer says: Printer out of Paper, this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the ‘OK’ button.

•   It said: ‘Insert disk 3…’ but only 2 fit in the drive.

•   Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait.

•   My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

•   Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. – Rich Cook

•   Intel: We put the ‘um…’ in Pentium.

•   Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says: ‘Click… ‘, wait for the rest of the sentence.

•   BREAKFAST.COM Halted… Cereal Port Not Responding.

•   1010011010 – The binary number of the Beast
•   1332 – The number of two Beasts

•   A program is a device used to convert data into error messages.

•   A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.

•   Never execute code written on a Friday or a Monday.

•   File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

•   “If the Start Windows Restart when Windows starts check box is checked Windows Restart will start automatically every time Windows is started.”
– Actual excerpt from a windows program help file!

[Source: Various]


Oct 19 2010

An amazingly intelligent joke…

Posted by Knonie

[I received this joke in email back in 2004, and it is really impressive and worth reading…]

It was the first day of school and a new student named Suzuki, the son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade.

The teacher said, “Let’s begin by reviewing some American history.
Who said “Give me Liberty, or give me Death?”
She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki, who had his hand up.

“Patrick Henry, 1775.” He said.

“Very good!”
Who said “Government of the People, by the People, for the People, shall not perish from the Earth?”
Again, no response except from Suzuki.

“Abraham Lincoln, 1863”, said Suzuki.

The teacher snapped at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do.

She heard a loud whisper: “F**k the Japs”
“Who said that?” she demanded.

Suzuki put his hand up. “Lee Iacocca, 1982”

At that point, a student in the back said, “I’m gonna puke”
The teacher glares and asks “All right! Now, who said that?”

Again, Suzuki says, “George Bush [Sr.] to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991”

Now furious, another student yells, “Oh yeah? Suck this!”
Suzuki jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher,
“Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997”

Now with almost a mob hysteria someone said, “You little shit. If you say anything else, I’ll kill you.”
Suzuki frantically yells at the top of his voice, “[California Congressman] Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001.”

The teacher fainted.

And as the class gathered around the teacher on the floor, someone said,
“Oh shit, we’re f**ked!”
and Suzuki said,
“Americans… in Iraq, 2004”


Oct 13 2010

Elmo’s first and cutest interview for YouTube

Posted by Knonie

There would be hardly anyone around who’s into muppets but doesn’t know about Elmo. Elmo is a cute little red monster from Sesame Street. Everyone loves the way he talks and behaves. YouTube, the number one video sharing community on the internet asked its users to submit questions for Elmo. Selected questions will be answered by Elmo and that video will be published on YouTube.

On September 23, 2010, YouTube released that video where the furry red monster has answered the questions people sent. Elmo sat down with his neighbor Chris to answer those questions. Almost 2,000 people sent Elmo over 1,000 questions and registered more than 20,000 votes.

YouTube also changed its logo to celebrate that interview Elmo on YouTube

Enjoy the cute answers of the sweet Elmo in the following video interview:


Oct 2 2010

Four Mothers… [Urdu joke]

Posted by Knonie

Insan ki 4 maa hoti hain:

Aik jis ne paida kiya,

Aik jis ne parhaya,

Aik Saasu maa,

Aur aik wo jis ke baray mein Ammi kehti hain:
“Ay raat de 2 wajay kehri maa naal gallan karda ain???”



Sep 10 2010

Today’s Generation–An innocent adult joke!

Posted by Knonie

Kid of 6 years:

“Hey, look…
I found a condom in my balcony…”

Kid of 4 years:

“I know about condom, but what is a balcony???”


Jul 26 2010

Octopus Paul is a Star… But Bad-Grammar is even more interesting…

Posted by Knonie

Ever since those correct predictions made by that eight-armed mollusk created a hype during this FIFA 2010 World Cup, octopus Paul has become a kind of pop icon.

Coming to Facebook, the presence of Paul can be seen in the form of many third-party applications.
Let me share two of my observations as screen-shots.

See this [Click to enlarge]:Octopus Paul App on Facebook

Just check the Grammar of the developers…
What did Octopus Paul predicted for you?” should be “What did Octopus Paul predict for you?
Hey guys… You’re making an application for the public, and what kind of impression you’re making here. What you’re doing is not even a slang.

I checked another application, and still, you can see the weak grammar. “an Octopus” is written as “a Octopus“. And then “asked” is termed as “asked to“.
“David asked to a Octopus Paul:” is certainly something that’s hardly English. One cannot expect that the team of application developers overlooked it and no one noticed it.

And here’s the interesting part, where the Paul answers your questions, and see what my friend has asked:Octopus Paul App on Facebook

Shuja asked to a Octopus Paul:
octopus paul kamina kutta haina? [Don’t you think Octopus Paul is a mean dog?]

And the answer was: Always the same. The answer is YES!


Jun 4 2010

Interesting Text Message responses after Facebook Ban

Posted by Knonie

After Facebook was blocked in Pakistan, I received a really interesting text message from a friend. That text message has a line mimicking Facebook’s following notification:
XYZ has tagged a photo of you“.
Below that text, there was a picture of donkey drawn in ASCII characters.

I shared it with few of my friends to see how they get it during that time. I received quite different types of responses. I’m posting few of them here.

That’s the text message I sent:

Knonie Dost has tagged a photo of you…
(\./)
/.”.)”^—-;”;_
\,,/”( ,     ,   ) \
       //\\ //\\
😛

Few of the responses are listed below. I have changed the real names to initials for privacy reasons.


Mannan likes this

[- Mannan Saddique]

Shooo cuteeee
:-*

[- Maanie, “Imran Khalid”]

Hahaha. today i was dicusng u wid ur x-collegue “A.R”. dat nw knonie has limitd social life wid out facebok.

[- Abdul Basit]

Hello! Knonie dost.

[- Hadi Raza]

Not allowed. Site restricted. […]

[- Hasnat Mehmood]

Haha yeah, that looks like me.
“S. A” likes your photo. 😛

[- S. A]

Hehe 😀
Thank you Knonie Dost.
Like*.

[- Sharjeel Butt]

Lol =p funny =p

[- C. Ch]

HTC text screenshot


Fahad Naeem has tagged a photo of you.

(\./)
/.”.)”^—-;”;_
\,,/”( , , ) \
       //\\ //\\

6 Comments:

*)Hahahaha bohat aala…
*)awsum
*)haha lolz..
*)nice.
*) fitt pic hy
*) yaar ye kb ki hay?

lets show them we dnt need any facebook we hav our own! 😉

[- Fahad Naeem, Also by Bilal Asad]

Oh no. Knonie yai kia. Buri baat friends ko aisa Nahi kehtay! But fact remains the same and that is I Love u! Have a great weekend…my balance finished talk to u later!

[- Bilal Nasr]

Hahahaha!

[- Saad Omer]

Hahaha, never thought of facebook mobile! 😀

[- Ismail Tariq]

Hahahahaha missing fb? 😛

[- Malik Sarmad]

So cute 😀

[- Bilal Hussayn Asad]

“S. Z” commented on her photo:
🙂

[- S Z]

Ye Tumne kab se anmol moti send kerna start kr diay.. 😛

[- Ghayyur Jadoon]

Are u against fb being banned in pak !?

[- Hamzah Jamil]

Facebook itna yaad araha hai kya :p

[- Ahmed Faraz]


May 25 2010

PAC-MAN is permanent on Google! Play it free!!!

Posted by Knonie

Now you can play Google’s exclusive Free PAC-MAN online on this URL:

Google is so kind to offer it here on PAC-MAN’s 30th anniversary.

Google Rocks!!!

[Src: http://googleblog.blogspot.com/2010/05/pac-man-rules.html]



Apr 2 2010

Google is now into Animals… Zoogle, maybe…

Posted by Knonie

Great news for Animal Lovers & Android Fans
Translate your pet’s speech into English on the go…

Really Amazing application for android!!!

Just visit the official page to get the application for your phone:
http://www.google.co.uk/intl/en/landing/translateforanimals/

We all know Google is so Genius, so they really inspired us again,
with their ever unique and creative
April Fools joke…