Some funny computer one-liners…

Posted by Knonie

IT Professionals- Funny one liner

•   Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

•   Press any key to continue or any other key to quit…

•   Smash forehead on keyboard to continue…

•   “Intel Inside”: The world’s most commonly used warning label.

•   Printer not ready. Do you have a pen?

•   A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1…

•   Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

•   Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue…

•   All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

•   A good programmer makes all the right mistakes.

•   Three things are certain: Death, taxes, and lost data. Guess which has occurred…?

•   If engineers built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civilization.

•   A computer scientist is someone who, when told to ‘Go to Hell’, sees the ‘go to’, rather than the destination, as harmful.

•   FATAL ERROR! SYSTEM HALTED! – Press any key to do nothing…

•   There are two ways to write error-free programs.
Only the third one works.

•   A hacker does for love what others would not do for money.

•   A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

•   Beta. Software undergoes beta testing shortly before it’s released. Beta is Latin for ‘still doesn’t work.

•   Computer analyst to programmer: You start coding. I’ll go find out what they want.

•   Computer Science: solving today’s problems tomorrow.

•   If your computer says: Printer out of Paper, this problem cannot be resolved by continuously clicking the ‘OK’ button.

•   It said: ‘Insert disk 3…’ but only 2 fit in the drive.

•   Microsoft Windows: computing While U Wait.

•   My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.

•   Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. – Rich Cook

•   Intel: We put the ‘um…’ in Pentium.

•   Helpdesk tip #2: When the support analyst says: ‘Click… ‘, wait for the rest of the sentence.

•   BREAKFAST.COM Halted… Cereal Port Not Responding.

•   1010011010 – The binary number of the Beast
•   1332 – The number of two Beasts

•   A program is a device used to convert data into error messages.

•   A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.

•   Never execute code written on a Friday or a Monday.

•   File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

•   “If the Start Windows Restart when Windows starts check box is checked Windows Restart will start automatically every time Windows is started.”
– Actual excerpt from a windows program help file!

[Source: Various]

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